My husband and I found out we were expecting on May 1 after a missed period. We didn’t expect to get pregnant so soon, it only took us one cycle and we were both shocked but very excited.
On Friday, May 16, I went in for a physical and got all of my blood work done and asked to test my urine and blood for pregnancy as well. I was feeling totally normal.
On May 19, I noticed a little bit of spotting when I wiped. I didn’t think much of it because I read that spotting can be normal and so can cramping in the first trimester.
The next day, I was still spotting, but I still thought no big deal and went into work. Around 10 am, I noticed my spotting was increasing so I called my gynecologist. They told me there was nothing they could do and it could be totally normal and just wait it out. Unfortunately, the spotting turned into light bleeding… light bleeding turned into heavy bleeding. Around 4 pm I was having very painful cramps and the bleeding was at a very consistent flow.
I got home from work and my husband was already home. I sat down on the toilet and had blood clots and blood just gush through me. I was pretty sure I just passed my baby.
I started sobbing and I came up to my husband and said “I just had a miscarriage.” He didn’t believe me until I showed him the bathroom that was covered in blood. He freaked out and took me into the ER. The ER was horrible and we ended up staying there for over 10 hours just to be told they couldn’t find anything in the ultrasound and my miscarriage must have been complete. I was devastated. I couldn’t handle going back to work so I asked for a note to be off for that remaining week.
We got home around 4 am but I got woken up by a call from my family doctor around 8 am. The nurse told me “great news, your blood work looks great and you are measuring 6-8 weeks!” I started sobbing and told her I just had a miscarriage. It was a very uncomfortable moment.
Today it has been 4 weeks since my miscarriage and I am still trying to get over it. I have felt so depressed at work that I got fired last week because I wasn’t a “good fit” for them. I never told them I had a miscarriage and that’s why I was so sad.
Right now, I am just taking it a day at a time. I am hoping for a happy ending to this story. I never knew something as beautiful as pregnancy could turn into something so brutal and gory. I still hold out hope for a healthy baby one day.
-Nina
South Carolina
Published 6/29/14