Review of “A Million Junes” by Deb

I never planned to review A Million Junes by Emily Henry for Through the Heart, but I found the reflections on loss and grief thought provoking and compelling. It is a phenomenal story of love, loss and intrigue woven with magical realism.

A Million Junes follows June O’Donnell and Saul Angert, the children of two families cleaved by a blood feud that stretches back four generations and is inextricably connected by a curse that plagues both clans. It is told in alternating scenes of reality and dream-like flashbacks experienced by June and Saul which are led by ghost-hosts. Saul is mourning the loss of his young sister many years ago and June is mourning the more recent loss of her dad.

June has several interesting observations on how people respond to someone’s loss. She notes that “when people find out you’ve lost someone, they get uncomfortable and embarrassed and pitying and weird. When people pity you, it’s like they honestly don’t realize the exact same thing’s coming for them. And then I feel embarrassed and uncomfortable and have to pity them, because, like, do you not realize it’s always someone’s turn.”

To me, this spoke to the yin and yang of life. We will all experience good days and bad days in our lives. As Ecclesiastes 3:2-8 reminds us, there is a time to live and a time to die. How we honor our lives and the lives of those we have lost is the challenge. As June also says, “pain comes for us all. It’s almost a relief. Because if all of us are going to someday lose the people we love most, or be lost by them, what is there to do but live?” I think that trying to live fully after a loss is the best way to honor that person.

I have the greatest admiration and respect for those who have turned their loss into advocacy and support. I think of the parents who advocate for gun control after a mass shooting at their child’s school or those advocating for pediatric cancer research after the death of the child from cancer. Through the Heart is such a wonderful and meaningful example of how we can turn our loss into something life affirming and life changing.

Deborah experienced the loss of her grandson, Liam, in January of 2019. She has two grown children, both adopted, and two grandchildren. Deborah lives with her husband, Keith, and dog, Kovu. Now that she is retired Deborah volunteers with several heart-health focused organizations. She is the author of the book “A Journey of the Heart: Learning to Thrive, Not Just Survive, With Congenital Heart Disease.

Book review of “All the Acorns on the Forest Floor” by Kim Hooper

What a beautifully written book. Kim Hooper  poignantly tells the interconnected stories of mothers and daughters by opening the window on their own decisions, choices made for them, and how they chose to react to foreseen and unforeseen events in their lives. I was drawn into the characters’ lives from the beginning and was impressed by how the author expertly wove the characters’ lives together as their stories unfolded. The characters are introduced, drift away, and reappear in another vignette. Hooper touches on loss and motherhood in all forms. The unexpected twists and turns in the book come off as entirely believable and possible, thanks to the author’s superb storytelling ability. I loved her insights into the hardships, struggles and heartbreak we all endure but keep bottled up inside. Hooper speaks to the uncomfortable issues of life in a non-judgmental way.

All the Acorns on the Forest Floor is definitely worth a read. Mostly, it is about life’s connections—those that we make and those that we happen upon. You will feel like you know the characters and you may even see yourself in one.

-Submitted by Deborah L. Flaherty-Kizer

Book Review by Deborah: Weave of Destiny

Weave of Destiny, by Ken Lefkowitz, chronicles the story of Sheila and Ken as they navigate their way through pregnancy loss, adoption, and successful pregnancy. It is interestingly told from Ken’s point of view. He tells their story through the lenses of courage, hope, and resilience.

Their story starts in the Vietnam War era. What struck me most was how differently the medical profession treated women, miscarriage, and loss of a newborn during that time. In one case, the doctor did not reveal to Sheila the status of her pregnancy. In another case, Sheila was not allowed to hold her deceased child. Clearly, a lot has thankfully changed since then.  I also found encouraging to see the changes in doctor-patient relationship and the advances in medical technology as the story progressed.

In this story strength and “moving on” are stressed. As such, I don’t think it adequately addresses the need to process grief. There was no mention of seeking outside professional help to help process what they were going through. But I think this was a function of the times—people just did not seek help nor was any recommended.  Luckily, mental health is now considered as important as physical help and many resources are available. We are blessed to have organizations such as Through the Heart to support those who have suffered a miscarriage.

While only addressed once, there was an implication of a woman’s “guilt” in a miscarriage, as if it were somehow her fault. Hopefully, we have moved beyond this. I think this sense of guilt also led women to not share their stories and find support. There is one beautiful example in the book of what Ken’s sharing their story led to.

Having gone through the adoption process almost 30 years ago, I found the author’s description of the process they went through factual. While not as difficult a process for us, my husband and I faced similar hurdles in finding an agency which would work with us.

I was amazed by Sheila and Ken’s strength and gratitude for what they have. Ken shares their story in a heartfelt, very readable book. However, I was also angered by some of the hospital policies and lack of support available to Sheila and Ken. Little was made of the opportunity to provide closure for the little lives lost. All in all, it was a revealing look at where we were and how far we have come in dealing with these issues.

Deborah experienced the loss of her grandson, Liam, in January of 2019. She has two grown children, both adopted, and two grandchildren. Deborah lives with her husband, Keith, and dog, Kovu. Now that she is retired Deborah volunteers with several heart-health focused organizations. She is the author of the book “A Journey of the Heart: Learning to Thrive, Not Just Survive, With Congenital Heart Disease.