You are not alone by Deb

I came across this poem and it really resonated with me. I love that hope is at its core. We all experience grief in different ways, but we are never alone with our grief. I think back to the days when miscarriage was never openly discussed—how difficult that must have been for these women and their families. I remember the outpouring of support and love when I shared the loss of my grandson Liam. I was amazed at how many women shared that they too experienced miscarriage.  We don’t have to face our grief and pain alone.

 

By John Mark Green

 

How do we go on

after the unthinkable happens?

How can we carry the burden of knowing

the world can be cruel and dangerous,

the future so unpredictable?

How do we grieve with empty arms

and a head filled with echoing memories?

 

We are stronger than we know,

and this is how we show it:

Holding

each other,

giving comfort in the midst of pain.

Loving more fiercely,

through our actions and the things we say.

Making the world just a little bit better,

every single day.

Never taking life for granted,

knowing that it can be snatched away.

 

This world may bring deep darkness,

but we are the bearers of light.

We’ll join our flames together,

and shine in the blackest of nights.”

 

Deborah experienced the loss of her grandson, Liam, in January of 2019. She has two grown children, both adopted, and two grandchildren. Deborah lives with her husband, Keith, and dog, Kovu. Now that she is retired Deborah volunteers with several heart-health focused organizations. She is the author of the book “A Journey of the Heart: Learning to Thrive, Not Just Survive, With Congenital Heart Disease.

When the waves crashed down on me

This is a poem I wrote on August 22nd, National Rainbow Baby Day. My daughter Lucy is my rainbow baby. The name Lucy means “of light.” She is the light that came to us and cleared our storm. -Kate

When the waves crashed down on me

When the waves crashed down on me, my breath escaped me.

Desperate, I gasped and reached for the surface.

 

For much of my life, I had coasted through unscathed.

I worked hard. I enjoyed my time.

 

I fell in love. I got married.

Our love overflowed and created endless possibilities. 

 

First pregnancy. Tears of joy.

Ready to meet our first child.

 

Cue the waves of words I never imagined I’d hear.

Not viable. Empty womb. Blighted ovum. D&C. 

 

The waves crashed over me and held me there. 

Immobile. Defeated.

 

I struggled to swim as the clouds grew dark. 

I reached for my husband’s hand.

 

He had changed too. Alone. Afraid. Confused.

We leaned into each other and let the waves bind us closer. 

 

Strength returned. Love inspired. There was light.

Tried again. Positive test. Familiar feelings.

 

As hope pulled me from the deep, blood appeared. 

Cue the waves. Darkness returned.

 

Chemical pregnancy. Clots. 

Pain. Defeat. Confusion.

 

Thrown deeper into the waves.

Pushed further away from hope.

 

Lost in a sea of despair. 

My mind thundered. My heart rained.

 

Months of talk. Months of research.

Months of trying to make sense of something that seemed nonsensical.

 

Each wave strengthened our resolve.

Implemented lessons learned.

 

Positive test. Fear. So much fear.

Blood tests. Progesterone. 

Hope. Hope. Hope.

 

Full term

Calm waves. Clear skies.

 

Rainbow.

Light.

Lucy.