In August 2015 my husband (28 at the time) and I (23 at the time) had decided to start trying for a baby. I currently have a son to a previous engagement, but my husband has no biological children. I got pregnant immediately with my first son.
This time we weren’t having that luck. In March 2016 I convinced my husband to see an Urologist who ordered a semen analysis. The analysis was not the best for us. While his sperm count was almost triple the normal count his morphology and motility were not so good. Morphology was sitting at a 50% and needed to be between 75-100%. He had 33% motility reading which should be 50%-100%. His Urologist immediately recommended artificial insemination for us.
However, we chose to try some supplements for my husband and sperm-friendly lube. We already had been tracking ovulation this whole time so we tried our best. Still nothing happened. Each month got harder and harder to get my period and not be depressed. I kept thanking God for giving me my son, but asking that he not be alone in this crazy world we live in.
In May we found that you could try at home artificial insemination as long as you didn’t reach your cervix, all you need was a medical syringe and a collection cup, sterilized of course. We tried this up until July. We found out Thursday, July 20, we were pregnant and we were beyond joyful, our prayers had been answered. The next day I had started cramping, but I really started to panic when I started bleeding. We rushed down to the hospital where they confirmed I was pregnant through blood tests, but very, very early (1-2 weeks). I had a slow bleed, no signs of ectopic pregnancy and a 22 beta reading. They sent us home with instructions to come back Sunday for follow up bloodwork to see where my beta reading was at.
Saturday I woke up and took a pregnancy test which came out positive. As I went through my day I became overwhelmed with a sense of loss, I can’t even explain it. I jumped in the bath tub, cleaned up, drank some water and laid on my bed until I had to pee. I then took a Clear Blue digital test which read: not pregnant. I called my husband upstairs and we both fell to the ground in tears. We went our local emergency room where they confirmed my beta level dropped from 22 to 10 in less than 24 hours. They reassured us that it was nothing we did and nothing we could have prevented, but there is no consolation in that.
We had tried continuously for 11 months. Just as we were losing hope that we would ever get pregnant we did and lost it all with in a blink of an eye. I believe God has a plan for everything, he works in mysterious ways and there is a reason our baby was not meant to stay to meet us. I will just continue to pray and pray we get lucky enough to have one that we may meet and love. It’s hard to go through this when I see young mothers not taking care of themselves for the sake of their unborn/born children, when people like us would do anything to be in their shoes and be pregnant. We will do everything in our power and everything that we can afford to bring at least one more child into this world. Our angel is with God now. May he/she rest in peace.