My husband and I have been married over three years now. We knew we wanted to take some time with just the two of us before we started a family. We went through times where we would think “okay, and year from now we are going to start trying,” then one thing or another would come up and we would push the date back a bit further.
This past March we pulled the trigger and went off of birth control. This was a very exciting time for us. We were under contract on a new house and thought this was the perfect time. We finally felt ready.
In May we closed on our new house and started renovations. Our plan was to renovate the house before we moved in. Things started out well, but as any project goes, we ran into lots of unexpected issues. Most of the work that was being done on the house was either by me, my husband, or our families. I always had in the back of my mind, “What if I’m pregnant?” but did not want that to stop me from working on our new house.
It was a Friday morning, July 12, about 30 minutes after my husband left for work that I got a positive pregnancy test. I was shocked and thrilled to see those two pink lines. That evening when my husband came home I shared the news and told him that we were going to start our family. It didn’t take long for us to tell our families. This would be the first grandchild on my side and the third on his. Our families were so excited for us! They had no idea we were even trying.
I made my first appointment with an OB/GYN. My husband came with me to the appointment. I should have been 8 weeks 5 days, but the doctor said I was measuring about 8 weeks. We got to see the heartbeat and it made it more real. I heard a hesitance in my doctor’s voice when he told us how I was measuring, but I just dismissed it.
After our first appointment we started telling our extended family. We went to all of the grandparents and let them know, started telling friends, and starting thinking about how I wanted to decorate our nursery. We were still working on renovating our house, but I just was careful in what I did. My number one priority was keeping my baby healthy.
Saturday night, August 24, I had one spot of blood. It surprised me but I wasn’t too worried. I was over 10 weeks by now and thought my chance of miscarriage had lessened by then. The next day, my husband and I were at the movies with his parents when I started bleeding again. I didn’t want to alarm them, so I just kept it to myself. It was light, but red and continuous. That evening I told my husband about it and we decided first thing in the morning I would call my doctor and see what he wanted me to do.
Monday morning I called the doctor and got an appointment set up for the following Wednesday. They asked if I had been cramping, and I said no more than I had been, just slightly once in a while. I continued to bleed all of Monday.
By Tuesday, August 27, I was really worried. I hadn’t stopped bleeding since Sunday. I called my doctor back and they got me an appointment at the hospital for an internal ultrasound that morning to see what was going on. My husband and I went to the hospital, got the test done, and went back home to wait for a call from the doctor.
By 2pm I was feeling really awful. I called back to the doctor to say that I was severely cramping. It was confirmed that I was having a miscarriage. I was told to take ibuprofen and that the doctor would call me back to check on me. My husband had left to work on our house just 20 minutes earlier, so I frantically called him over and over to get him to come home to me. I called my mom to let her know and sent her to find him. He called back and came straight home. I knew there was nothing he could do, but I needed him.
I bled heavily and passed several clots for the next couple hours. It was like that phone call allowed everything to start. By 6pm the worst was over. I wasn’t in pain during the miscarriage, I truly believe God was there helping me every step. He took my pain away and let everything pass easily and quickly.
My doctor called not long after everything had stopped. He said that my baby had stopped developing just after 8 weeks, so just after I had my first ultrasound. There was no heartbeat and nothing could have been done. He reassured me that I had done nothing wrong and said to call him anytime at the office or hospital.
Two weeks after my miscarriage I went back to my doctor to get checked and see if I had passed everything. Thankfully everything had passed and I even had a negative pregnancy test. It was so odd to think that I had a miscarriage, yet my body was doing everything it was suppose to. How could that happen?
My first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage. My husband and I were heartbroken. I’ve never been closer to him than I was the day after it happened. We just sat in bed that night crying and holding each other. We were there for each other in every possible way we could have been.
It has been over two months now, and sometimes I still have hard days. We still want to start a family, and know that more now then ever, but sometimes I will get triggered by something and the tears will just start flowing all over again. I know we will be okay. I know we will still have a family.