I am Tiffani Webb, 41 years old, 6 year old son by previous relationship and married 2.5 years to an amazing man who is 51 and has a 17 year old. At first, we both said it didn’t matter whether we had another child because we both came to the table with one. As our love grew greater for each other we decided to move forward with a shared child. We began the process of genetics testing, fertility discovery and decided we would go straight to IVF due to our age.
Well, my specialist wanted me to do one round of IUI because we were going away for my birthday. Lucky #1 worked – with just one IUI at 40 when I was told there was 0-4% chance – it worked. And then we got to the 17th week 🙁 This is such a very painful situation and even worse when everything is going fine and you make it out of the 1st trimester.
I was just 17 weeks when my miscarriage came and I had slight bleeding so I went to the hospital immediately and they did an ultrasound as well as transvaginal and monitored the heartbeat and everything was fine, no placenta previa, cervix closed. Just 2 days later when I went for my follow up with my ob I was 4cm dilated and funneling. I had to go straight to the hospital and was admitted immediately. They had me in this 90 degree angle position to sleep and a bedpan. My husband and I were prepared to go through this process even if it took me staying in this position for the next 5 months.
That did not matter because the next morning I went for another ultrasound and the ballooning was 1/2 out of the cervix and gravity had not made it go back up into the cervix so they could do a cerclage (sew up the cervix). Now I have everyone trying to insist that I induce and I was like absolutely NOT. The next morning my water broke and there was no saving the baby 🙁 I had to deliver and have D&C as the placenta would not come out on its own.
This was the most painful experience of my life. After having a doctor go in my vagina and pull out a baby who was less than a pound and not crying or moving I lay there with the umbilical cord hanging out and awaiting delivering the placenta which would not come naturally. I then had an epidural to go for a D&C. I could hear all the happenings in the operating room. I would never wish this on a soul.
Sometimes it is beyond our understanding and bodies why things happen. I had a full term fine pregnancy the first time and never experienced a miscarriage until this happened. I will never know the reason but I do know we cannot blame ourselves especially if you want to try again. I will try again (although I didn’t feel that way just a week ago when I was experiencing all this). This time around I am going to have a cerclage at 13 weeks and probably stay on progesterone longer. I am also going to stay with my fertility doctor the entire way through or go to a high risk pregnancy doctor and go back to my regular ob only to deliver at 9 months.
As a woman our roads are never easy but we are all enduring. With my little girl angel looking down on me I have become a stronger, more resilient woman who will not shy away from discussing what others would rather keep secret. I have always been an open book and through good, bad, pain, happiness I will continue my journey of educating and healing. If you anyone ever needs to talk or throw ideas off one another I am definitely open to it 🙂