To my little one

I thought God had given me the greatest gift. I found out December 23, 2020  that I was going to be a mom again. It was a surprise and I couldn’t think of a better gift to receive for Christmas. 2 weeks later I began to spot and I thought it was normal. That spotting turned into heavy bleeding and I rushed to the ER. My ultrasound showed an empty gestational sac and it was only measuring 5 weeks. I was placed on pelvic rest but the nights were long and the cramps mixed with anxiety never stopped.

Neither did the bleeding. I went back to the ER on Saturday January 9th and they confirmed my worst fear. I was miscarrying, and there was nothing that could be done. I went home and on Sunday January 10, 2020 I lost my little one. The feeling of being numb has now given way to complete devastation and emptiness. I will never get to hold you or hear you cry. The sound of you laughing while I tickle you will never be a joy that I get to have. I just have to say goodbye somehow, yet I don’t even know how to do that. It wasn’t suppose to be a goodbye you were suppose to join us in this life. To my precious baby I’m so sorry we didn’t have more time. Mommy loves you and my heart yearns for you.

2 Comments

  1. I am so sorry for your loss. May 2020 I lost my baby girl Madelyn Rose when I was 5 months pregnant. Not a day goes by that I dont think of her or all the what ifs. No one truly knows this pain unless they have gone through it. 💔😭

    1. I pray for you, it’s a hurt that will never go away. It’s something that you just learn to live with. Everyday the thoughts come back to you no matter what you do. Please stay strong ❤️

Leave a Reply to Nyana Rice Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>