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5 Ways to Grieve in 2020

I’ve written this blog about 7 times and have had about 4 different concepts  I finished some, then deleted, got a paragraph in on others, then deleted. I didn’t finish these honestly, because my feelings this holiday season have been a whiplash. So it’ll come across as inauthentic at that moment. I also start on a concept around grief and BAM it’s already a blog so I don’t want to copy another person’s grief coping concept, that’s just tacky. SO, I thought, why not just make a list? Buzzfeed does it, why can’t I? So, here are the 5 best ways to grieve as the calendar turns to 2020….


  1. Grieve the Way You Want: Be Sad. It’s going to happen. Feel how you feel, and tell people how you feel. If they don’t accept that, well, that’s on them.


  1. Grieve the Way You Want: Be Happy. Yes, you are grieving, but it’s ok to be happy too. You may feel guilty for smiling, for feeling “normal” or feeling different from your friends but it’s ok to be happy too. If others don’t accept that, well, that’s on them.


  1. Grieve the Way You Want: Be alone. If you feel like you need to just step away from the holly and jolly, or heck maybe you just don’t want to deal with all the questions…Yeah, it’s ok to be alone. (As long as you are doing it safely)


  1. Grieve the Way You Want: Be with family and friends. OH and it’s ok to set healthy boundaries of conversation with them too. Surround yourself, be social, and be authentic to how you feel, because your loss does not make you an outcast.


  1. Grieve the Way You Want: You see where I am going with this right? It’s imperative that more than anything you are true to you, true to how you choose to grieve because honestly, it may change quickly or it may not happen at all. Why pigeonhole how you experience it to cater to others? Your grief is not an inconvenience, it is real and should be respected.



It has been a pleasure to write for Through The Heart in 2019. It’s been a great outlet for me and I’ve been happy to add my perspective. I hope in the new year to tackle some topics that dive a little deeper into the masculinity and grief, secondary infertility, and parenting. I look forward to growing with you all in this new year and I appreciate all your support in the past year!

Category : Paul , Volunteer Bloggers

About Author



My name is Paul Varga, I work as a Business / Operations Manager by day, I write jokes and do a little improv at night. I live in Maryland with my wife Sara and "Three" teen-year-old daughter Jackie. Since Jackie, we've experienced 3 losses. My main goal for blogging at Through The Heart is to continue to grow with our losses and help others do the same.

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If you’ve come to this blog, it likely means you have suffered a pregnancy loss of some type. We are so sorry you have found yourself here, but hope the stories of life after loss can help you on your road to healing and recovery. Remember, we are all in this together!

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