A Loss of Innocence
In a strange way, pregnancy loss is also a loss of innocence. It’s like when you were younger and thought that your parents would be around forever, or that nothing bad would ever happen. Unfortunately, because pregnancy loss is often not talked about, I never really thought about it or discussed it with anyone.
That changed when I lost my grandson, Liam. I had joined a club that I really didn’t want to be in. But I found comfort in sharing this devastating news. I was amazed by the number of women who shared that they too had lost a child or grandchild. I could see that even though many of them had gone on to have other children, the loss left an aching hole in their hearts. I truly don’t know if I would have the courage or strength to try again after such a loss.
We just found out that our daughter-in-law is pregnant. The loss of innocence I experienced with Liam has left me filled with “what-ifs.” I find myself slipping into a dark place. However, I know that my daughter-in-law will be closely monitored during the pregnancy, which gives me some comfort. I can hold Liam close to my heart and honor his memory, but I mustn’t fear for another loss. I need to have faith and hope for the miracle of a successful birth. I recognize it is in God’s hands, not mine. Yes, pregnancy loss may take away our innocence, but we cannot let it take away our joy and wonder at the expectation of a new life.