I was only five weeks along when my husband and I miscarried. We were just about to hit our one year anniversary. I remember feeling numb, confused, unsure of what to do next, and flat out sad. I remember even having a hard time praying. So, I prayed The Lord’s Prayer as a way of still staying connected with God during my grieving. I knew I needed to stay connected no matter how difficult it was. I knew GOD was the only thing that could get me through. Eventually The Lord’s Prayers turned into prayers of thanksgiving, and before I knew it I was back to prayer warrior mode.
Healing isn’t just a process, but it is also a journey. It’s a journey that can bring renewal, peace, and wisdom. Going through multiple miscarriages has been some of the most painful moments in my life. As painful as they have been, I wouldn’t change this journey for anything. Not because I wouldn’t love to have our babies alive and well, but because God’s love has grown me in ways that I cannot even explain in words. I’m not who I used to be, nor is my relationship with God. My relationship with Him has grown LEAPS and BOUNDS. I’ve learned to seek FIRST the Kingdom of GOD and to find peace and joy in all of life’s ups and downs. I honestly can’t say I would have learned these heavy lessons if it weren’t for the pain I have endured through the years of grief and loss.
I think that’s the beautiful thing about God, right? His ability to bring beauty out of ashes.
“He will give a crown of beauty for ashes, a joyous blessing instead of mourning, festive praise instead of despair.” Isaiah 61:3
If you are finding yourself in a place of despair, remember that joy comes in the morning. His beauty WILL shine through. Take a deep breath, be still, and know He is God. It is in the stillness that we can truly know who He is.
Here is a prayer if you are finding yourself unsure of what to pray. It’s simple and true.
Thank you. Thank you for the life I carried inside of me, even if it was just for a moment. Thank you for choosing me to be my child’s mommy. I will forever love, cherish, and pray for him/her. Thank you for Your Goodness! Thank You for being near.
In Jesus Name,
I am praying for you sister. Through the pain. Through the healing. You are loved.