We are moving, we decided awhile ago but now that the time is near it has hit me, we will leave the house our kids were raised in, the house where I carried and lost my daughter. She was born in that house. Delivered in my bedroom by myself and my devastated husband.
I didn’t think it would be so emotional, I don’t want to stay in the house, it’s time to move. I felt surprised at the sharp stab of pain, the tears still came even though I didn’t want them to. I am a spiritual person, and have planned to have the house blessed once it is empty, sort of a goodbye to the echoes of all the good times and bad we have had in it.
I decided to make this my post because I’m sure I’m not the only person who has had this experience moving. It’s hard, much harder than I expected really. I do think moving and starting in a fresh house will help, I will have the space to put the baby things I couldn’t bear to part with away, out of sight. It will give us a place to build new memories watching our kids grow up and more space since they have grown enough that we are cramped in our current house.
October is special to me because my last full term baby, my rainbow baby, was born in October. He is turning 7 in a few days and when I remember all those we have lost, I feel so blessed that I was given a rainbow baby in the month of remembrance. I wish everyone strength everyday, we are all on our own difficult journeys. In October those journeys are publicly remembered although as parents, we all remember our angels everyday.