Friendships & loss
I’ve started to write this post a few times and I’m struggling to find the right words to say. So this post may be all over the place but I am going to try my best and write it because I need to let it all out.
A little while ago I received a pregnancy announcement from a friend who struggled to find the words to tell me about their bundle of joy. When she told me I have to admit that I took it really hard, BUT I was so very happy for her and her husband. I did have to go home and have a good cry afterwards but again I was very happy for them.
A few days later I got a text from my friend, it was the kind of text that stops you in your tracks and you have to sit down to finish reading. But it was a text that I once had to write and remembered all too well. She had gone for an ultrasound the day before and was told that her baby had no heartbeat.
As she was still in her first trimester she hadn’t told many people and she was glad that she hadn’t.
As much as hearing her initial announcement hurt I was glad that I could be there for her afterwards. I remember thinking that I didn’t want to be alone but didn’t want to see anyone after my miscarriage because no one would understand how I felt.
I spent the day with her until her husband could be with her again. We spent the day hugging, talking, crying and just being there for each other. I would have to say that that day was one of the hardest days for me. It brought back so many emotions that I didn’t know were still very much inside me.
We talked about everything that goes along with a loss, all the hard questions and the questions that don’t have a right or wrong answer.
Going through a loss is very hard, but I have learned, both through my friends I live around and my friends from far away places, that you are not alone. There are friends that will always be there for you no matter what.
If you read this, friend, I just want you to know that I love you and will always be there for you.