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It Doesn’t Have To Be Perfect

I spent so many years hoping for a child. I said goodbye to three during my long wait. During that time I imagined what motherhood would be like and promised myself I would never take a moment for granted. I thought I knew exactly how I would react to being a new mom.

Now that it’s been nearly three months since welcoming my second miracle baby, I’m facing something I never thought I’d struggle with. I’ve been diagnosed with Postpartum Depression. Some days it’s so bad I don’t want to hold the children I spent so much time praying for. Most the time I can handle the depression and not let it affect the kind of mother I am. But the days I struggle are made worse when I think about how lucky I should be feeling, instead of fighting the impulse to run away.

It’s in these moments I remind myself that this is motherhood. The WHO reports at least 13% of new mothers struggle with a mental disorder. That’s a much larger percentage than the 1% of women who experience recurrent loss or Cholestasis of pregnancy like I did. I’m not alone, and I’m in good company. I’ve sought help and am getting treatment. It’s not ideal or what I wanted after my struggle to have children, but it’s the narrative of so many women. I can hold my head high knowing it’s ok to struggle, and it doesn’t make me ungrateful or a bad mom.

Category : Stacey , Volunteer Bloggers

1 Comment

Cryssie Addis

February 26, 2019 at 6:06 pm

Praying for you. <3

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If you’ve come to this blog, it likely means you have suffered a pregnancy loss of some type. We are so sorry you have found yourself here, but hope the stories of life after loss can help you on your road to healing and recovery. Remember, we are all in this together!

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