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January 9

Most days, I’m at peace with my losses. They don’t define me every single day and no longer dictate my feelings or actions.

But on that one day every year, it gets me. For the rest of my life January 9 will always be the day my second child was due.

He was our miracle baby, the one we worried might never be possible. Then all of a sudden there he was, shocking us all and bringing so much happiness. A few short months later it was all gone.

I feel like these milestones should get easier over the years but they don’t. It reinforces for me how my pregnancy loss journey will never be over, it just takes a new direction every once in a while.

I wish I had some great words of wisdom, some deep reflection to share but I’m struggling with my thoughts. I feel sort of numb today, the same way I do on any of my due dates. I don’t know what to say other than baby boy, we remember you, we miss you, and we love you.

Category : Karen , Staff/Board Members

About Author

Karen Kelly

Hello! I'm Karen Kelly, co-founder of Through the Heart. My journey started in 2013 when I lost my daughter at 20 weeks into my pregnancy. I experienced 2 more losses along the way and have used this blog as an outlet for a lot of random thoughts and emotions. I hope that you find it helpful. Feel free to reach out at kkelly@throughtheheart.org if I can help in any way!




January 10, 2018 at 11:06 pm

So many hugs to you. I feel like I keep learning things about you that make me feel connected to you, even though we’ve never met. January 9 2012 was the day we lost our first.

    Karen Kelly

    January 12, 2018 at 12:50 pm

    I had no idea Jan 9 was a milestone date for you too….so many hugs!

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If you've come to this blog, it likely means you have suffered a pregnancy loss of some type. We are so sorry you have found yourself here, but hope the stories of life after loss can help you on your road to healing and recovery. Remember, we are all in this together!

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