When my daughter-in-law miscarried my grandson Liam early this year, I was devastated. As parents, especially as moms, we always want to fix things for our children, no matter how old they are.
The few days after the loss, I knew it was important to just be there for them. As I mentioned in my previous blog, I made them food, called frequently to offer support, and accompanied Colin and Krissy to the funeral home.
But I knew I wanted to do more to remember Liam. While we did not have a formal funeral service for Liam, we did have a mass said in his memory. It was held a week after he was delivered, and it was touching to see so many friends and family there to support Colin and Krissy.
I found a wonderful organization near me, Angel Gowns, which makes burial gowns for miscarried and deceased babies from donated bridal gowns, First Communion dresses and other donated fabrics. I remember how moved we were when we saw Liam in one of these gowns, wrapped in a blanket, with a tiny beanie on his head. Without hesitation, I donated my bridal gown and my mom’s to them. I couldn’t think of a better use for them. I did cut a small piece from each gown for my daughter, in case she wants “something old” on her wedding day. I plan on knitting blankets to support this organization as well.
Of course, the work done by Through the Heart also helped us honor Liam. Krissy and Colin truly appreciated the Comfort Kit—it helped them to know that someone recognized the pain they were going though. And sharing my story in my blog helps me remember Liam.
I also wanted a physical reminder of Liam. When Krissy was pregnant with my first grandchild, Winry, she gave me a beautiful grandma bangle bracelet. I found a simple memorial bracelet and purchased one for both Krissy and me.
Liam’s estimated due date was this coming May. I know with all the Mother’s Day festivities that this will be a tough time for Krissy. Perhaps we will plan a special remembrance, such as releasing balloons or planting a tree.
But the best way to honor Liam is to remember him not only on special occasions, but each day. When people ask how many grandchildren I have, I always say two—one on earth, one in heaven. Liam holds a special place in my heart. Living my best life possible is how I can best honor and remember him.