Spring time represents a time to refresh, a time to break out of our winter shells and absorb the sun and fresh air. Spring is a season of rebirth.
Two years ago, I didn’t get a chance to immerse myself in the joys of spring. Two years ago I was in the throws of the darkness of miscarriage. I was depressed, afraid, and I was unable to allow spring to rejuvenate me the way it often does.
Last spring, I was newly pregnant. I was still early in the pregnancy at that point. I was excited, yet uneasy considering the two losses I had before. I was afraid it would all go away at the drop of a hat. I was in the thick of morning sickness and it seemed nothing could ease my fear or my nauseous belly.
This spring is once again different. This spring I have a baby girl to rejuvenate me from the long winter. She’s five months old now. I often look at her and wonder how I got here. I wonder where did I get the strength to power through from where I was two years ago. The first few months with my daughter were tough, emotionally and physically. She had a scary start and I was on edge for a while and I still am.
This year spring means something new. This spring, along with my daughter, I want to try to immerse myself in the rejuvenation of the season. It’s another step in the process of letting go of the lingering fear of the unknown. It’s another step in letting myself be at peace with my losses and concentrate on what I have gained.