Some of you may know, some of you may not, that the Sunday before Mother’s Day is usually set aside as International Bereaved Mother’s Day. It’s a day to honor women who have lost a child in any way (including women who have lost their chance to become a mother through infertility). This will be my second year observing this day.
Mother’s Day has been such a struggle for me since my first loss (this year will be my 4th Mother’s Day fighting the fight). At no fault of anyone, I get overlooked. How could people know by looking at me that I am a mother of 3? It’s extremely painful when I’m wishing the mom’s of my students a Happy Mother’s Day. I’m often met with “You too.. Oh, you don’t have kids. Well, have a good weekend!” How are they to know that my Mother’s Day will be spent deciding if I’m strong enough to go to church this year? Should I correct them? Would it be too awkward bringing up dead children right before Mother’s Day?
It has helped immensely to have a day dedicated to me, in my unique situation. My grief is valid, my role as a mother is valid, and my children are, most especially, valid.