Lori’s Story

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My husband and I had been married for 5 years when we found out I was pregnant with our first child. We were so thrilled, especially since it took us a year to get to that place. We were 31 and ready to finally to start a family. I had a great pregnancy, minor nausea at the beginning but it was smooth sailing once I got in to the second trimester. All of my appointments went well. The baby’s heartbeat was always strong and she looked perfect on the ultrasounds.

My due date (March 20, 2015) came and went. I had an ultrasound 3 days after my due date and everything looked fine. I then had a non-stress test at 41 weeks. The baby’s heartbeat still sounded great. The doctors were all pleased with the results and saw no reason to rush an induction. I was in good health and the baby was in good health. That was on a Friday. We agreed that if the baby didn’t come over the weekend, we’d do another ultrasound on Monday and schedule an induction on Tuesday.

On Saturday I noticed the baby was a little less active than usual. I was feeling tired and thought my body was showing signs of pre-labor. After several hours I became worried because even after drinking cold water and juice, the baby was not moving much. I sat quietly on the couch and tried doing kick counts. I got 5 kicks in 2 hours. I started to become very anxious. My husband and I decided to try counting again but quickly changed our minds and decided to just call the doctor to be on the safe side. We’ve never had to call during off hours for anything. We thought we were just being super safe and worrying too much. After all, the baby would have very active days and then quiet days sometimes. I thought today was one of those quieter days.

We ended up rushing in to the hospital only to find out our baby girl’s heartbeat had stopped. We couldn’t understand how so much could change in 24 hours. I was 41 weeks and 2 days when I was induced. I gave birth to Elliot Kathryn on March 30, 2015. She was full term, 7 lbs 11 oz, 21 inches long. She was so beautiful. Our hearts are completely broken over this unexpected loss. We don’t know what happened, and may never know. We’re waiting on several reports. I hope we find an answer. I know someday we will try for a baby again. But for now we are mourning the loss of our Elliot. She is our first daughter. We will always love her and we will never forget her. She cannot be replaced. We bonded so much during pregnancy. She was already a big part of our family. We still can’t believe she is gone.

-Lori Davis
Massachusetts
Published 5/6/15

11 Comments

  1. Dear Lori,
    I’m having a restless night, so I decided to get on my phone and read about other parents in similar grief as my partner and I are going through. I cannot imagine the grief and anguish you are experiencing, even though I’m going through my own. I miss my little girl like you do. I don’t know if my partner and I will have another chance or if I want it. The fear of not making it to a healthy delivery or doing the right thing gets to me. All I can say is “Life is beautiful.” Bless your family,
    Darshana

  2. Im so sorry for your loss,i had a loss back in November i was 32 weeks ,i know exactly how you feel,sending you lots of hugs..

  3. Thank you for sharing your story. Know that you are helping others grieve their precious little ones gone too early. I recently had 2 miscarriages, one in January 2016 and the second in May 2016 and am still grieving. My strength is knowing that I will get to meet my little ones in heaven someday and that they are in a better place; born into heaven. Sending you hugs!

    1. Thank You for sharing. I have neighbors across the street. Never see them. She was a nurse with the night shift. Beautiful people. I crocheted a pastel baby blanket I made. I brought it over to them I asked what they would name her. Weeks went buy and I never saw them. Her mother would come. One day I went over before she left. Olivia was still born and beautiful. I cried but I don’t know what to say to them

  4. I am so sorry for your loss. My story is so very similar. I was 2 weeks over due and will always question whether I was strong enough with the doctors regarding inducing sooner. Would there had been a different outcome. My blessings are with you and your family.

  5. Lori, I’m so sorry for your loss. Almost the same exact thing happened to us on July 29, 2017- Bernard was 41 weeks, but I started labor with no issues, I made it through 14 hours before he was just instantly gone- I had an emergency c-section but it was too late. He never went into distress, the cord and placenta were great, I had no medical issues at all. Bernard was 7 lbs, 11 oz, 20 1/2 inches- when I saw your Elliot was almost exactly the same measurements I broke down.

    I have worked through the timeline and broke down the last 48 hours with Bernard down to the minutes it seems and unfortunately the only answer we have for this loss is, “this just happens sometimes, we can’t explain it.” What brings me some comfort is that so many women have experienced pregnancy loss like this, and have made it through the other side.

    We will never have another first born, or another first born son. Bernard was our first child, but by the grace of some higher power I hope he isn’t the last. I hope you find peace and healing.

  6. My hearts breaks for you! I was only at 10 weeks when I experienced spotting and found out my baby stopped growing at 8 weeks. Seeing my little peanut on the ultrasound monitor made feel better until I soon realized I didn’t see the heart beating and I instantly felt like I couldn’t move or breathe. I’m approaching what would be the babys due date and it’s been getting more overwhelming and emotional again, its never really stopped, but comes and goes in waves. I feel selfish as I have two beautiful kids already, but I wanted that 3rd baby too so badly. I send prayers your way! Ive believe God instills our desire for children and motherhood for a reason and that he’s not done yet.

  7. Hi Lori,

    I am so very sorry for your loss. Nothing in life prepares us to lose our precious babies. I lost two sets of twins at 4 months and I just couldn’t get passed the loss of my babies. Now I am 50. Please find it in yourself to forgive yourselves and pray that God gives you both strength to try again. Your baby is not gone. She will always be with you forever. You are here living in the now. Show her how brave, amazing and strong her parents are that they both faced there fears and try to have another baby. God will bless you and your baby will have your daughter watching over till it is with you both. Trust in each other you are fierce living couple and can do it together.

    All my and prayers are with you always. Blessings.

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