My husband and I became pregnant with our first child in June of this year. I had two completely normal and healthy pregnancies prior to our marriage. This was the first for my husband. I was sick from the beginning. Morning sickness to start and then fatigue and extreme discomfort after the first trimester. On October 19 we went in for our scheduled ultrasound. I had been having what I thought were contractions for four days at this time but had been assured that nothing was wrong. By the end of the ultrasound I was in constant pain and taken to the ER and then the OB ward. Shortly after we were informed that I was in labor and that it could not be stopped. Our son was delivered quickly after that.
Once our son, Bruce, was delivered I began to bleed out. While I don’t remember much my husband informed me that I lost a large amount of blood. The placenta would not detach from my uterus which was the cause of the blood loss. I was rushed to the OR, given a blood transfusion, and finally they were able to control the bleeding.
I am now home and left with a hole in my heart. I do not know how to proceed from this. I feel as if I have lost something. I do not know if I had trusted myself more if it would have made a difference. I wish I had though. I wish I had trusted myself.